Where grey clouds meet

All my life I got it in the wrong order. I thought getting attached to people helped me achieve a state of love and happiness. Now I understand one can only access love from a place of contentment within. And contentment comes from not getting attached to people and outcomes. It's letting people, situations and things be whatever they want be. Not in a 'they can walk all over me' kind of way, but truly deciding 'I'm not getting affected by external world, I'm okay no matter what'. 

We come to earth with a puzzle board. The people we meet and the places we go in life have our puzzle pieces. Completing the puzzle is the purpose and process of our life. Some people may have more pieces than others. Time also plays an important role. There's an order to fitting the pieces, it's not random. That maybe why some people play an important role in our lives and then we part ways, to be united again. In the interim, we may have to collect the pieces from other people.  Everything is okay. There's no right or wrong, it's about exploring our life theme, with other souls helping us and we them along the way. 

If one has taken birth on earth, they would have some wounding. Every single one of us has some wounding. I have come to observe that there are 2 kinds of people in the world. One kind of people, to distract themselves from the pain of existence, put all their energy into work, or pursuing one thing relentlessly. And they end up being the 'succesful' people in society. The other kind, because of their pain can't focus on one thing, they may get addicted to substances or adventures or drama in relationships. Their growth seems so slow. Taking 3 steps forward and then 2 steps backwards, which seems like they are stuck on a particular level. Their pain of existence wouldn't let them go on a consistent, continuous pace.  The successful people may seem like they have it all, but they are also in pain. And because they learned to shut down their emotions, they may not be able to relate to others' pain and they may hit a glass ceiling which unless they process their pain c...

You know what love is? You can clearly see the destructive path one has taken and you realise they don't have the maturity or wisdom to see that for themselves and no matter what you tell them they are not able to understand it, yet you be with them, in each turn and twist and with hope that one day they will realise their mistakes and that day they may need someone who still believes in them, so you want to be there. That's love. That's unconditional love.  To realise it's their path and all you have to do is be there for them. Just that.  It's having the patience when one makes a mess of their life and then detangles each knot. And I be that to myself too. And all the others who love me. 

 I just saw a reel about our hunger for things and fulfillment and it just occurred to me that a sense of fulfillment may not be a permanent thing in physical life. Because it can not be. There are always more perspectives to see life and ourselves from. So we achieve one level of fulfillment and we realise there are more levels and on we move. Life is about movement and change. Why remain stuck at any one level?

My love for people is a 'let them' kind of love. I let people be. I may tell them when they are making bad choices but if they are adamant that they must make that choice, I let them. And I don't tell them 'I told you so' if/when they end up where I foresaw where they would end up. I know it's okay. It's their path and their way of making mistakes and learning from them. My job is to support them through it all. 

 I was watching this series about time travel and time loops. And I wonder when does it start? Why does it continue again and again? Because each of the characters is following the script, always acting from their emotions/or sense of right and wrong.  I think it's the same with life, the wars between two opposites and the different sides we find ourselves in. Each playing the part thinking the other is the enemy.  I have again and again found myself in shoes of victim and perpetrator, at different modes of life. I really don't know what I must choose to escape these loops. I'm hoping it's kindness, understanding, patience and love and most importantly the ability to just obseve and not act, at all. The detachment that one requires, that may be the ticket to escape this infnity game called life.  But then what!!!! I want to have some more fun, so I continue to play my parts, knowing very well that I'm playing my parts. 

In this age of feminism and women empowerment, wanting a companion/partner, in my experience, is being looked down. If a woman says she is perfectly happy being single and all she wants to do is explore things on her own, she is applauded and encouraged. While this is a valid experience and many women wanting this are considered badass and great, why are women who want a partner looked down upon. But on the other hand men and society, in general, look down upon women who want to do it alone. Why does it have to be this or that? These are different and valid expressions of the same love and joy one feels within. As long as one is doing something from true joy and excitement, and not from desperation, each path is valid. 

 I have read that 'people choose familiar hell than unfamiliar heaven'. I want to redefine that to include the grit and resilience of human beings. We choose to master a hell before making it the heaven which suits our needs than get a 'ready-made' heaven. Because we are inherently creators. We create, we transform, we transition. We are alchemists. The creators of our reality. And we find heaven in the same people where there was only hell at one point. Not by changing them in any way, but by changing ourselves. By mastering ourselves and thus mastering our reality.